Have you struggled with connecting with others? Maybe you have lots of acquaintances but few if any real friends that know and care for you deeply? You are not alone. We live in a society that has progressively embraced technology that removes genuine connections with others. The result is that loneliness and depression is at an all time high.
In a world where we’ve become all too familiar with wearing masks, the idea of showing our true selves can feel complicated. We are afraid to reveal who we really are. However if we are going to build deep relationships we have to take the mask off and be authentic.
Deep meaningful relationships do not happen automatically. They are built with intention and effort, like anything valuable. Good relationships start with us. Many of the challenges that we experience in our relationships stem from unresolved issues within ourselves. Our attitudes, emotional intelligence, past experiences, and the way we view ourselves impacts our relationships. The Bible points to the need for personal transformation in order to build better relationships with others.
Romans 12:9: “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.” Real authenticity is about letting others see you as you truly are—without a mask. It is about there being consistency between our image and our character.
Why Do We Wear Masks?
Why do we put on masks? The simple answer is fear. Fear has been with us since the very beginning. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God, they felt fear for the first time and hid (Genesis 3:10). We have been hiding parts of ourselves ever since—our faults, our weaknesses, our failures. To build meaningful relationships, we must first confront three key fears that hold us back. As we do we will also discover three keys of how we can live with authenticity.
1. The Fear of Exposure
We often worry that if others see the “real” us, they won’t like what they find. We’re okay with showing our strengths but our insecurities? Not so much. However no one has it all together, and it is inauthentic to pretend we do.
1 Corinthians 2:11 reminds us, “For who knows a person’s thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him?” It is easy to wear a mask because others cannot see our innermost thoughts or struggles. Only God truly understands us. He knows us completely even when we do not fully understand ourselves. If we are to have deep relationships, we need to let others see our real selves, flaws and all.
The First Key to Authenticity: Live in God’s light. Honesty, truth, and integrity create the foundation for authentic relationships. As 1 John 1:7 says, “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.” By stepping into the light we can build real meaningful connections with others.
2. The Fear of Rejection
Another reason we hide is the fear of rejection. We fear that if we reveal our true selves and are not accepted, we will feel deeply alone. But in Proverbs 29:25, Solomon teaches, “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.” When we view our worth on God’s unconditional love, we are set free from this fear and can live authentically.
The Second Key to Authenticity: Trust in God’s love. Only God’s love is truly unconditional. When we let His love take hold in our lives and transform us, we are able to drop the mask and live in freedom.
3. The Fear of Being Hurt Again
Life often leaves us with emotional scars. Each hurt can make us more cautious and afraid to open up. If we hold on to these hurts, they can make us defensive and guarded. Thus preventing real connection with others. But God offers us a way forward.
Ezekiel 36:26 says, “And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.”
Because of Jesus Christ’s redemptive work we are set free from our past. He has given us His life, His Spirit. A transformation has occurred. He wants us to live in freedom recognizing that we no longer need to be defined and enslaved by the wounds and scars that we have carried.
The Third Key to Authenticity: God has given you a new heart, if you are a follower of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ can heal our hurts and help us to love again without fear. He transforms us from the inside out which makes authentic relationships possible.
“For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit.” – Titus 3:3-5
God wants us to have joy, freedom, and confidence to approach relationships with authenticity. When we trust Him, we can step forward in faith and build deep, meaningful relationships with others. Why not allow Him to start fresh today?
Written by Sam McKeen
