“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” — Hebrews 10:24-25 (ESV)
This blog addresses a sensitive topic so let me start by saying this: I’m not writing this to guilt you into showing up on Sunday mornings. That’s not my job, and guilt is a terrible motivator for anything that matters in the Kingdom of God.
But I do want to share something that’s been on my heart, something I’ve observed when it comes to the gathering of local churches. It’s what we often call “church attendance,” though that phrase doesn’t come close to capturing what God actually intended when He established His church.
So let’s talk about it. Not with guilt, but with truth. Not to manipulate, but to understand what we’re really missing when we neglect gathering together.
What Is the Church, Really?
Part of the problem is that we’ve turned “church” into an event. It’s something we attend, like a concert or a lecture. We show up (or don’t), we consume a message, we sing some songs, and then we go home. Check the box. Done.
But that’s not what the Bible describes when it talks about the church.
The church isn’t a building. It’s not a Sunday morning service. The church is people, specifically, God’s people. This is how God’s Word describes it:
“Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.” — 1 Corinthians 12:27 (ESV)
“So we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.” — Romans 12:5 (ESV)
We are members of one another. Not members of an organization. Not members of a club. Members of each other. That means your presence matters. Your absence is felt. You’re not part of an audience, you’re a vital part of the body.
When Paul uses the metaphor of a body, he’s making a profound point: just as your hand belongs to your arm, and your foot belongs to your leg, we belong to one another. We’re connected. Interdependent. Designed to function together.
The Difference Between Guilt and Conviction
Before we go any further, let me clarify something important: there’s a huge difference between guilt and conviction.
Guilt says: “You’re a bad Christian if you don’t show up on a Sunday morning. God is disappointed in you. People are judging you.”
Conviction says: “There’s something more here that God wants for you. You’re missing out on what He designed for your good and His glory.”
Guilt comes from shame and manipulation. It’s external pressure that makes you feel bad about yourself.
Conviction comes from the Holy Spirit. It’s an internal stirring that says, “There’s a better way. You were made for more than this.”
“And when he comes, he will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment.” — John 16:8 (ESV)
The Holy Spirit convicts us because He loves us and wants what’s best for us. He’s not trying to make us feel terrible. He’s trying to wake us up to the fullness of the blessings that God has for us.
So hear me clearly: if you’re reading this and feeling guilty, that’s not from God. But if you’re feeling a stirring in your heart, a sense that maybe you’ve been missing something important, that’s the Holy Spirit, and it’s worth paying attention to. At the end of the day I want people to come to worship services and engage with their church family not because of guilt but because of deep desire rooted in their love for God and their church family.
What You Miss When You Don’t Gather
When we choose not to gather with our church family; whether that’s missing Sundays regularly, not engaging with our church family beyond Sunday, or just staying on the periphery; we miss out on some significant blessings. Not because God is withholding them, but because these blessings only come through community and in building deep relationships.
You miss out on encouragement.
“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (ESV)
Life is hard. We all face struggles, doubts, and discouragement. God designed the church to be a place where we’re built up, strengthened, and reminded of truth when we’re tempted to believe lies. When you’re not present, you miss that encouragement, and so does everyone else.
You miss out on accountability.
“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” — Proverbs 27:17 (ESV)
We need people in our lives who will ask us the hard questions, challenge our blind spots, and help us grow. That doesn’t happen from a distance. It happens in relationships, in community, when we’re consistently present with one another.
You miss out on using your gifts.
“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.” — 1 Peter 4:10 (ESV)
God has given you specific gifts, talents, and abilities; not for your own benefit, but to serve others. When you’re not present and engaged, the body is missing what only you can contribute. Your absence creates a gap that no one else can fill.
You miss out on worship in its fullest sense.
“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” — Colossians 3:16 (ESV)
Worship isn’t just singing songs. It’s teaching one another, encouraging one another, and spurring one another on toward love and good works. It’s experiencing God’s presence together in a way that we simply can’t experience alone.
What We Miss When You Don’t Gather
Here’s the part we don’t talk about enough: when you’re absent, we miss out too.
We miss your perspective. We miss your gifts. We miss your story. We miss the unique way God works through you to encourage, challenge, and bless the rest of us.
“For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ… If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” — 1 Corinthians 12:12, 26 (ESV)
When one part of the body is missing, the whole body suffers. Not because we’re trying to make you feel guilty, but because it’s true. You matter. Your presence matters. Your participation matters.
Think about it this way: if you have kids, imagine if one of them just stopped showing up to family dinners. You’d notice, wouldn’t you? You’d miss them. Not because you wanted to guilt them into being there, but because they belong at the table. The family isn’t complete without them.
That’s how it is in the church. You belong here. We need you here. Not your attendance, but your engagement, your heart, your life.
Showing Up Isn’t Enough
Now here’s the even more challenging part: even if you’re showing up every Sunday, that might not be enough.
I know that sounds harsh, but hear me out. If you’re just showing up for an hour on Sunday morning, listening to a message, singing some songs, and then leaving without really engaging with anyone, you’re missing the point.
The Bible doesn’t call us to be spectators. It calls us to be participants.
“And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.” — Acts 2:42 (ESV)
The early church didn’t just attend a service. They devoted themselves to teaching, fellowship, breaking bread together, and prayer. They did life together. They knew each other. They served each other. They bore each other’s burdens.
“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” — Galatians 6:2 (ESV)
You can’t bear someone’s burdens from a distance. You can’t fulfill the law of Christ by just showing up as the service starts and then leaving right afterwards. Real Christian community requires presence, vulnerability, and commitment.
That might look like:
- Coming and participating in Tuesday’s prayer gathering.
- Serving on a ministry team.
- Staying after services to have real conversations (not just surface-level small talk).
- Inviting people into your life and being willing to enter into theirs
- Praying for your church family regularly and letting them pray for you.
The Heart Behind the Gathering
So why does all this matter? Why am I writing this?
Because I care about you. Because I’ve seen what happens when people try to live the Christian life in isolation, and it doesn’t work. Because I’ve watched people drift away, thinking they can maintain their faith without the church, only to find themselves spiritually dry, discouraged, and disconnected from God.
And because I believe God designed us for community. Not as an optional add-on to your spiritual life, but as an essential part of it.
“For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” — Matthew 18:20 (ESV)
There’s something powerful that happens when God’s people gather. Jesus shows up in a unique way. The Holy Spirit moves. Lives are changed. And we become more like Christ; not just individually, but together. This is how God’s church was designed to function.
The Challenge
So here’s my challenge to you:
If you’ve been absent, come back. Not out of guilt, but out of a desire to experience what God has for you in community.
If you’ve been present but disengaged, go deeper. Don’t settle for just showing up. Pursue real relationships. Get involved. Be vulnerable. Let people know you and allow yourself to know them.
If you’ve been faithful, keep going. Your consistency matters more than you know. And invite others to join you. Be the one who reaches out to the person sitting alone, who welcomes the newcomer, who makes space at the table for one more.
The church isn’t perfect. We’re all broken people. But we’re in it together, and that makes all the difference.
“So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God.” — Ephesians 2:19 (ESV)
You’re not a stranger here. You’re not an outsider. You’re family. You belong. And we need you.
Not just your attendance. Your presence. Your heart. Your life.
Written by Sam McKeen
