Whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. – John 3:15-17 NKJV
After completing my student teaching, I worked as a substitute teacher. One day I was working in a third grade classroom. When it was time for recess, a girl walked up to her desk and plunked heavily into her seat. I waited for her to locate an item from her desk, or tie her shoe and then go outside with the other children. But she just sat there, looking out the window. I eventually asked her if she was going out to recess. She stated “No, I never go out to recess. I’m a bad kid”.
Obviously, her statement is not true. However, many people feel this way about themselves. It makes them angry or depressed, and feel bitter or powerless. They speak with the resignation that comes from years of consistent striving and failing. Their will power is meager and their striving is an exercise in futility. They just can’t fix their brokenness by themselves.
Sin is a weighty matter. We are born with it, wrestle with it, and we cannot overcome it without the grace of Christ. Perhaps everyone recognizes it, too. We seek approval by our actions, by our possessions, by the approval of others but there is always that gnawing sense. Alone at night it speaks to us in the words of shame and fear. It reminds us that people may not like us and that, if we are honest, we don’t really like ourselves. We long for perfect and unshakable love. We long to be loved by God
The Good News is that God loves us. He asks only that we turn to Him. He will clean and polish up our grimy and withered souls and make them new. But we Christians fear that if we share this simple news, we will be doing God an injustice. We will not be convicting the sinner of their sin. So we start with a question. A question such as “Do you know where you will go when you die?” or “Did you know we are all sinners in need of a Savior”?. While these statements are abundantly true, they start with an assumption: that the seeker is unaware that they are falling short of God’s glory.
Unfortunately, the seeker is often acutely aware of this. They have probably become quite adept at beating themselves up. They don’t need anyone’s assistance. The old fears, the endless failures, the ache of being lost has been a daily pattern for those who live outside of God’s grace. They may have come to regard these patterns as a frenemy, a constant companion with whom they share an uneasy and unhappy truce. They know they hurt. And they may both fear or believe they cannot be redeemed and, most importantly, loved. So when the unsaved ask “what does the Bible say about___” they may not be looking for chapter and verse of their condemnation. They may actually be asking “does God really love me? And, Christian, do you?”.
Unfortunately, to the Christian, this question smacks of Satan’s words in the garden: “Did God really say?”. It sounds like a justification for sin. But the unsaved may not be asking “Does God really say I have sinned”, but “Does God hate me for my sin? And do you hate me, Christian?”
It’s unfortunate, but evangelism sometimes goes like this: the Christian identifies the person’s sin nature. The seeker, already feeling miserable, becomes defensive and either withdraws or attacks. This invariably upsets the Christian. This usually results in a debate, rife with scoffing, argument, or other unpleasant speech. The Christian walks away, clucking about being persecuted for Christ and the seeker walks away feeling justified in their anger at an obviously self-righteous hypocrite. But what if the question of sin was not what the seeker wanted to know?
Perhaps you are bristling right now, thinking about ears being tickled and sin nature being denied. But if the underlying question is: “Am I lovable”? and “Do you love me as I am?”, we are answering the wrong question when we emphatically point out a person’s sin. When someone asks about sin nature, they probably already know what the biblical stance is on it. They also may have been hurt by perceived attitudes of moral superiority and bludgeoned by the sense of their failures. They may have been rejected by family, friends. And their question may actually be: “Will you reject me, too? And will God reject me?”
The God we serve loves. And we are called to be His hands and feet. Our work, then, is simple. Love. As He has loved us. As we are all sinners, redeemed not by our will power but by the very life blood of Christ. The right question, then, may not be “Do you know you are a sinner?”, but rather “Do you know God loves you?” Without condition. Without polish. Without reserve.
God will work on the heart, the mind, the soul. He has worked on yours and continues to do so and does the same for others. The right question is the one that leads the person to Christ, whether sinner or saved. It is one that starts the conversation rather than abruptly ending it in hostility and despair. The right question to ask when someone inquires “What does the Bible say about ___?” might be as simple as “Why do you want to know?”. The next step is just as simple. Listen to their reply. They may already believe they are a bad kid. If so, they need the hope that is only found in God’s love. And you may have the joy of sharing it with them.
Written by Janet Keefe
