“And a voice from heaven said, ‘This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.’” — Matthew 3:17 (ESV)
Do you actually believe God loves you?
Not “Do you know intellectually that God loves you?” or “Can you quote John 3:16?” I’m asking if you really, deep down in your bones, believe that you are beloved by God, not because of what you do, but simply because of who you are.
If you’re like most many the honest answer is probably no.
And that’s the problem, because it is keeping you from the joy, peace, and freedom that God wants you to experience.
Summary
Followers of Jesus can struggle with joy not because of external circumstances, but because they can’t accept that they are truly beloved by God. We are going to discover why believing we’re God’s beloved is so difficult, and what it takes to finally come home and allow ourselves to experience the Father’s unconditional love.
The Diagnosis: Self-Rejection
Regardless of how successful, respected, or influential a Christian becomes they can still be miserable.
Why? Because despite knowing all about God’s love many followers of Jesus don’t actually receive it. They struggle with truly believing that they are truly God’s beloved.
Jesus’ famous parable in Luke 15 reveals the depth of the struggle that so many have in truly receiving their heavenly Father’s love. Both sons represent the ways we reject our identity as God’s beloved and seek love and identity in other places.
The Younger Son: The Sin of Rebellion
The younger son’s story is familiar to most followers of Jesus as typically his story is the focus of most retellings of this parable. He demands his inheritance, leaves home, wastes everything on wild living, and ends up feeding pigs. Eventually, broken and desperate, he comes home hoping to at least become a servant in his father’s house.
This is the obvious way to leave home through rebellion, sin, and reckless living.
The younger son looked for love, significance, and joy in pleasure, freedom, and independence. He thought if he could just get away from his father’s rules and live life on his own terms, he’d find what he was looking for.
He was wrong.
“And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.” — Luke 15:20 (ESV)
But here’s what’s crucial: even when he came home, the younger son still didn’t understand his father’s love. He came back planning to say, “I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants” (Luke 15:19).
He was still trying to earn what could only be received. He was still operating out of a sense of unworthiness rather than belovedness.
Ask yourself: Do you try to earn God’s love through your good behavior? Do you think God loves you more when you’re “doing well” spiritually and less when you’re struggling?
The Elder Son: The Sin of Resentment
The elder son never left home physically. He stayed, worked hard, obeyed all the rules, and did everything right. But when his younger brother returned and the father threw a party, the elder son refused to join. He stood outside, angry and resentful.
Listen to his complaint:
“Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!” — Luke 15:29-30 (ESV)
Do you hear it? “I have served you… I never disobeyed… you never gave me…”
The elder son was keeping score. He was working for love, not from love. He was living as a servant, not as a son. He was lost in duty, resentment, and self-righteousness.
And here’s the kicker: the elder son’s lostness is harder to recognize and harder to heal than the younger son’s, because it’s wrapped up in the desire to be good and virtuous. It looks like faithfulness, but it’s actually a form of slavery.
Ask yourself: Do you serve God out of joy or out of duty? Do you resent people who seem to “get away with” sin while you’ve been faithful? Do you compare yourself to others and feel bitter when they receive blessings you think you deserve?
The Real Problem: Searching for Love in the Wrong Places
Both sons, the rebellious one and the religious one, have the same problem: they’re searching for unconditional love where it cannot be found.
The younger son looked for it in pleasure, freedom, and independence.
The elder son looked for it in performance, obedience, and approval.
Neither found it, because neither understood that what they were searching for was already theirs as sons.
You can’t earn unconditional love. That’s what makes it unconditional.
But we keep trying anyway. We keep thinking:
- If I just read my Bible more…
- If I just serve more…
- If I just sin less…
- If I just pray harder…
- If I just get my life together…
Then God will really love me. Then I’ll be worthy. Then I’ll be accepted.
But that’s not the gospel. That’s slavery.
“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” — Galatians 5:1 (ESV)
The Father’s Love: What We’re Really Missing
Look at how the father responds to both sons.
To the younger son who comes home in shame, expecting to become a servant, the father doesn’t even let him finish his prepared speech. He runs to him, embraces him, kisses him, and restores him fully as a son. No probation period. No list of conditions. Just pure, unconditional love.
“But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’” — Luke 15:22-24 (ESV)
And to the elder son standing outside in his resentment, the father leaves the party to plead with him:
“Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.” — Luke 15:31 (ESV)
He is saying, you don’t have to earn it. It’s already yours. All of it. You just have to come home and receive it.
This is the God we’re invited to come home to. Not a harsh taskmaster keeping score. Not a distant deity who tolerates us. But a loving Father whose greatest joy is having his children home.
Why We Can’t Believe It
So why is this so hard for us to believe?
We’ve been wounded. Many of us never experienced unconditional love from our earthly parents, so we can’t imagine it from our heavenly Father.
We live in a performance-based world. Everything in our culture tells us we have to earn love, respect, and value. We’re trained to believe we’re only as good as our last achievement.
We compare ourselves to others. Like the elder brother, we look around and feel cheated. “Why does she get that when I’ve been so faithful?” “Why does he succeed when I’m working so hard?”
We believe the lies. Satan’s first strategy hasn’t changed: “Did God really say…?” He wants us to doubt God’s goodness, God’s love, and our identity as God’s beloved.
We’re want control. Receiving unconditional love means giving up control. It means admitting we can’t earn it, can’t maintain it, can’t lose it. That’s terrifying for those of us who like to be in charge.
The Path Home: Receiving Love
So how do we come home? How do we move from knowing about God’s love to actually believing we’re beloved?
We Have to Stop Running
Whether you’re running away like the younger son or running in place like the elder son, you have to stop. You have to turn toward the Father instead of away from Him.
“Return to me, and I will return to you, says the LORD of hosts.” — Malachi 3:7 (ESV)
We Have to Acknowledge Our Lostness
Both sons had to recognize they were lost before they could be found. The younger son hit rock bottom. The elder son stood outside the party, realizing he’d never experienced his father’s joy.
Where are you lost? In rebellion or in religion? In obvious sin or in subtle self-righteousness?
We Have to Let God Love Us
This is the hardest part. Not trying to earn it. Not working to maintain it. Just receiving it.
Asking yourself, ‘Am I letting myself be loved by God?’
This requires:
- Stopping long enough to listen for God’s voice
- Believing what He says about you more than what you feel about yourself
- Accepting that you can’t earn what’s already freely given
- Releasing resentment toward others
- Choosing gratitude over comparison
We Have to Live From Our Belovedness
Once we start to grasp that we’re beloved, not because of what we do, but because of who we are everything changes.
We stop striving and start resting. We stop performing and start responding. We stop earning and start enjoying. We stop comparing and start celebrating.
What This Looks Like Practically
1. Listen for the Father’s Voice
Spend 10 minutes every morning in silence. Ask God to speak His love over you. Wait. Listen. Write down what you hear.
Remember what Jesus heard at His baptism: “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased” (Matthew 3:17). That same voice speaks over you.
2. Identify Your “Distant Country”
Where are you searching for love outside of God? Is it:
- Performance at work?
- Approval from others?
- Physical appearance?
- Financial security?
- Being right in arguments?
- Amassing posessions?
Own it. Confess it. Turn from it.
3. Practice Receiving
When someone compliments you, don’t deflect. Just say “thank you” and receive it. When you pray, don’t just ask for things. Sit in God’s presence and let Him love you. When you read Scripture, look for every place God declares His love for you.
4. Release Resentment
If you identify with the elder brother, make a list of people you resent. Then one by one, choose to release that resentment. Forgive them. Let it go.
Remember: the father loves them too. And His love for them doesn’t diminish His love for you.
5. Choose Gratitude
In the evening, before you go bed, write down three things you’re grateful for. It does not have be big stuff, just simple gifts from your Father who loves you.
6. Come to the Party
Stop standing outside. Stop waiting until you feel worthy. The Father is calling you to come in and celebrate. Will you?
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Isn’t this just feel-good theology? Don’t we still need to obey God?
A: Absolutely we’re called to obey. But obedience flows from identity, not toward it. When we know we’re beloved, obedience becomes our joyful response to love, not our desperate attempt to earn it. The elder son obeyed but had no joy. The younger son returned and received both love and the call to live as a son.
Q: What about sin? If God loves me unconditionally, does it matter if I sin?
A: Of course it matters. Sin damages us and our relationship with God. But God’s love doesn’t change based on our sin. The younger son was still the father’s son even in the pig pen. Understanding God’s unconditional love doesn’t lead to license, it leads to transformation. When you know you’re beloved, you want to live like it.
Q: I’ve tried to believe this, but I still don’t feel loved by God. What’s wrong with me?
A: Nothing is wrong with you. This is a journey, not a destination. Keep showing up. Keep listening. Keep practicing. God’s love for you is a fact, even when it’s not a feeling.
Q: How do I know if I’m the younger son or the elder son?
A: You’re probably both, depending on the area of your life. The point isn’t to figure out which one you are, it’s to recognize that both are lost and both need to come home to the Father’s love.
Q: What if my earthly father was abusive or absent? How do I trust God as Father?
A: God is not like your earthly father. He is the Father your earthly father should have been. It will take time, but as you experience God’s true character, He can heal those wounds and show you what real fatherly love looks like.
Related Scripture for Further Study
- Luke 15:11-32 – The parable of the prodigal son
- Matthew 3:13-17 – Jesus’ baptism and the Father’s declaration
- Romans 8:14-17 – We are children of God, not slaves
- Ephesians 1:3-6 – Chosen and adopted in love
- 1 John 3:1 – See what kind of love the Father has given us
- Zephaniah 3:17 – The LORD rejoices over you with singing
- Psalm 139:1-18 – You are fearfully and wonderfully made
- Isaiah 43:1-4 – You are precious in God’s sight
- Romans 5:8 – God shows His love for us while we were still sinners
The Bottom Line
You are beloved by God.
Not because you’ve earned it. Not because you deserve it. Not because you’ve done everything right or finally got your act together.
You’re beloved simply because you’re His child and nothing can change that.
“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” — Romans 8:38-39 (ESV)
The question isn’t whether God loves you. The question is: will you receive it?
Will you stop running?
Will you stop trying to earn what’s already yours?
Will you finally believe that you are, in fact, beloved?
Will you come home?
Take Action Today
If this resonated with you, here’s what to do next:
- Pause: Stop right now and take a deep breath. Ask God to speak His love over you. Wait. Listen.
- Identify: Which son are you? Where are you lost, in rebellion or in religion? Write it down.
- Receive: Practice receiving God’s love this week. Use the practical steps above.
- Share: If you know someone else who struggles to believe they’re beloved, share this with them.
- Connect: We’re all on this journey together. Join us at Center Barnstead Christian Church where we’re learning to live as God’s beloved children.
Have questions or want to talk more about this? Reach out here or visit us this Sunday.
