“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness.”
— Matthew 23:27 (ESV)
I need to tell you something you probably don’t want to hear.
What if the biggest problem facing the church in America today isn’t the culture? It’s not secularism, politics, or moral decline. It’s not even persecution or opposition from the outside world.
What if the biggest problem is us?
More specifically, it’s the self-righteous, judgmental, hypocritical spirit that has infected too many of us who claim to follow Jesus. We’ve become the very thing Jesus condemned most harshly—modern-day Pharisees who care more about being right than being loving, more about our reputation than people’s souls.
And it’s killing our witness.
Summary
The church’s credibility crisis isn’t caused by external forces—it’s caused by internal hypocrisy. When Christians act like Pharisees—judgmental, self-righteous, and hypocritical—we push people away from Jesus. This post examines why religious pride is so dangerous, how it shows up in modern Christianity, and what genuine repentance looks like. The solution isn’t better arguments or cultural warfare—it’s humility, self-examination, and becoming more like Jesus.
Why People Are Walking Away From the Church
Let me ask you something: when non-Christians think about the church, what comes to mind?
For too many people, the answer is ugly. They think of hypocrisy, judgment, political rage, and self-righteousness. They think of Christians who preach love but practice condemnation. They think of church people who are quick to point out everyone else’s sin while ignoring their own.
And here’s the ugly truth, they’re not entirely wrong.
I’ve even seen people walk away from “their” faith not because they struggled with the existence of God or the historicity of Jesus, but because they couldn’t reconcile what they saw in Christians with what they read about in Scripture.
They met Jesus in the Bible and loved Him. Then they met His followers in real life and ran the other way.
That should both terrify and grieve us!
“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” — Matthew 7:12 (ESV)
If we were on the receiving end of the church’s judgment, criticism, and self-righteousness, would we want anything to do with us? Be honest.
The Disease of Self-Righteousness
The most spiritually dangerous people aren’t those who openly reject God. The most dangerous are those who think they’re close to God while their hearts are far from Him.
That was the Pharisees’ problem. They had the Scripture memorized. They followed the rules meticulously. They prayed publicly, fasted regularly, and tithed down to the smallest herb in their garden. By every external measure, they looked like spiritual giants.
But Jesus called them “whitewashed tombs” beautiful on the outside, dead on the inside.
Why? Because they had replaced genuine relationship with God with religious performance. They cared more about their reputation than their character. They were experts at seeing everyone else’s faults while completely blind to their own. Sound familiar?
How Religious Pride Shows Up Today
Let me get specific, because it’s easy to want to dismiss this truth and think that it doesn’t apply to us. Here are some ways religious pride and pharisaic attitudes show up in our churches today.
We Major on Minors and Minor on Majors
We’ll go to war over worship style, translation choice, or theological minutiae while ignoring the weightier matters of justice, mercy, and faithfulness. We’ll argue endlessly about end-times theories while our neighbors are lonely, hurting, and wondering if anyone actually cares about them.
Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for this exact thing:
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others.” — Matthew 23:23 (ESV)
We Build Walls Instead of Bridges
We’ve become masters at drawing theological lines in the sand and declaring who’s in and who’s out. We create litmus tests for fellowship that Jesus never gave us. We avoid Christians who vote differently, worship differently, or interpret certain passages differently than we do.
Meanwhile, Jesus ate with tax collectors and sinners. He talked with Samaritans. He touched lepers. He welcomed everyone, and the religious leaders hated Him for it.
We Consume Instead of Contribute
We show up to church expecting to be fed, entertained, and served, but rarely ask what we can give. We critique the sermon, complain about the music, and grumble about the coffee, all while ignoring the spiritual gifts God gave us to serve others.
We’ve turned church into a consumer experience instead of a family where everyone contributes.
We Talk More Than We Listen
We’re so convinced we’re right that we don’t actually listen to people anymore. We wait for our turn to speak. We formulate our rebuttal while others are still talking. We assume we already know what they think and why they’re wrong.
But Scripture says:
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” — James 1:19 (ESV)
That’s the exact opposite of how most of us operate.
We Demand Grace for Ourselves but Justice for Others
This might be the most damning characteristic of all. We’re quick to make excuses for our own failure, “I was stressed,” “I didn’t mean it,” “It’s complicated”, but we show no mercy to others when they fall short.
We want understanding when we mess up, but we want accountability when others do. We want second chances for ourselves, but permanent consequences for them.
That’s not the gospel. That’s hypocrisy.
The Heart of the Problem
So what’s really going on here? Why do we fall into these patterns?
I believe it comes down to fear.
We’re afraid of being wrong. We’re afraid of losing control. We’re afraid that if we let our guard down, everything we believe will unravel. So we become rigid, defensive, and combative. We attack before we can be attacked. We judge before we can be judged.
But here’s what Jesus says:
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” — 1 John 4:18 (ESV)
When we operate out of fear instead of love, we become Pharisees. We become the whitewashed tombs Jesus condemned, looking good on the outside while death and decay fester within.
What Genuine Faith Looks Like
So what’s the alternative? What does authentic, Christ-like faith actually look like?
It’s Humble
Genuine faith recognizes that we’re all broken people in need of God’s grace. It doesn’t claim to have all the answers. It doesn’t look down on others. It approaches disagreements with humility, knowing that we all “see in a mirror dimly” (1 Corinthians 13:12).
“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” — James 4:6 (ESV)
It’s Self-Aware
Authentic faith starts with examining our own hearts before we examine others. It takes Jesus’ words seriously when He tells us to remove the log from our own eye before worrying about the speck in someone else’s.
It asks hard questions: Where am I being a hypocrite? What sin am I tolerating in my life while condemning in others? How am I contributing to the problem?
It’s Characterized by Love
Real faith is known for what it’s for, not what it’s against. It’s marked by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control; not anger, division, and condemnation.
“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” — John 13:35 (ESV)
Notice Jesus didn’t say, “They’ll know you’re my disciples by your correct theology” or “by how many arguments you win.” He said they’ll know by your love.
It Pursues People, Not Just Positions
Authentic Christianity cares more about people than being right. It’s willing to engage, to listen, to understand, even when it disagrees. It builds bridges instead of walls. It seeks to win people, not arguments.
It’s Quick to Repent
Real faith doesn’t defend itself when confronted with sin. It doesn’t make excuses or shift blame. It owns its failures, asks for forgiveness, and changes direction.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” — 1 John 1:9 (ESV)
The Path Forward: Repentance
If any of this has resonated with you, if you’ve seen yourself in these descriptions, the only appropriate response is repentance.
Not the surface-level “I’m sorry if I offended you” kind. I’m talking about deep, genuine, heart-level repentance that produces real change.
Repentance means:
- Admitting we’ve been wrong
- Confessing our self-righteousness and pride to God
- Asking forgiveness from those we’ve hurt with our judgmental attitudes
- Turning away from condemnation and toward compassion
- Replacing criticism with encouragement
- Choosing humility over being right
It means becoming the kind of person who reflects Jesus instead of the Pharisees.
A Personal Challenge
Let me give you some specific action steps for this week:
1. Examine Yourself First
Spend serious time in prayer asking God to reveal any areas where you’re being pharisaic. Don’t think about other people, focus on your own heart. Write down what God shows you.
2. Apologize to Someone You’ve Judged
If there’s someone you’ve been critical of, harsh toward, or judgmental about, reach out and apologize. Don’t justify yourself. Just own it and ask for forgiveness.
3. Listen Without Rebuttal
Find someone you disagree with and have a conversation where you only listen. Don’t argue. Don’t correct. Don’t prepare your response. Just seek to understand their perspective.
4. Serve Someone Anonymously
Do something kind for someone without them knowing it was you. No credit, no recognition, no social media post. Just serve out of love.
5. Audit Your Speech
For one week, pay attention to what you talk about. Are you spending more time criticizing or encouraging? Complaining or praising? Tearing down or building up?
6. Choose Grace Over Justice
The next time someone wrongs you, choose to extend the same grace you’d want if the roles were reversed. Let it go. Forgive quickly. Move on.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Aren’t we supposed to stand for truth? Isn’t that what the Pharisees were doing?
A: There’s a huge difference between standing for truth and being self-righteous. Jesus stood for truth, but He did it with love, grace, and humility. The Pharisees used “truth” as a weapon to elevate themselves and condemn others. We can uphold biblical truth while still being humble, loving, and gracious.
Q: How do I know if I’m being discerning or being judgmental?
A: Discernment evaluates actions and ideas against Scripture while maintaining love for the person. Judgment condemns the person, assumes motives, and lacks grace. Discernment says, “I disagree with this behavior because Scripture says…” Judgment says, “You’re a terrible person and I’m better than you.”
Q: What if someone really is in the wrong? Should I just ignore it?
A: No, but there’s a biblical way to address sin (Matthew 18:15-17). Go to them privately with humility, seeking restoration, not destruction. And always start by examining your own heart first (Matthew 7:1-5).
Q: Isn’t this just encouraging compromise and not standing firm on conviction?
A: Not at all. You can have strong convictions while still being humble and loving. The issue isn’t what you believe, it’s how you treat people who believe differently. Jesus never compromised truth, but He also never treated people with the arrogance and condemnation that characterize modern pharisaism.
Q: How do I repent from religious pride?
A: Start with honest confession to God. Ask Him to reveal areas of pride and self-righteousness. Then take concrete action; apologize to those you’ve hurt, practice humility in conversations, serve others without recognition, and make loving people your priority over being right.
Related Scripture for Further Study
- Matthew 7:1-5 – Judge not; remove the plank from your own eye
- Matthew 23:1-36 – Jesus confronts the Pharisees
- Luke 18:9-14 – The Pharisee and the tax collector
- Romans 2:1-4 – You who pass judgment do the same things
- Romans 14:1-13 – Accept one another; stop passing judgment
- 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 – Love is patient and kind
- Galatians 6:1-5 – Restore others gently; carry each other’s burdens
- James 2:1-13 – Show no partiality; mercy triumphs over judgment
- James 4:11-12 – Do not speak evil against one another
The Bottom Line
The world doesn’t need more Christians who are convinced they’re right. It needs more Christians who look like Jesus.
It needs people who are humble enough to admit when they’re wrong. Loving enough to prioritize people over positions. Gracious enough to extend to others what God has extended to them. Self-aware enough to deal with their own sin before pointing out everyone else’s.
That’s what will change hearts. That’s what will draw people to Jesus. That’s what will restore the church’s credibility.
Not winning arguments. Not cultural dominance. Not proving we’re right and everyone else is wrong.
Just becoming more like Jesus.
Are you willing to look in the mirror and deal with what you see?
Are you willing to repent of self-righteousness and pursue authentic faith?
Are you willing to choose love over judgment, humility over pride, and grace over condemnation?
The church’s biggest problem isn’t “out there”. It’s in our hearts.
But the good news is that God specializes in transforming hearts. He can take whitewashed tombs and breathe life into them. He can turn Pharisees into disciples.
If we let Him.
Take Action Today
If this challenged you, here’s what to do next:
- Reflect: Spend 20 minutes in prayer asking God to reveal any pharisaic attitudes in your heart. Be specific. Write down what He shows you.
- Repent: Confess areas of pride, judgment, and self-righteousness to God. Ask Him to transform your heart.
- Restore: If you’ve hurt someone with your words or attitudes, reach out and apologize. Make it right.
- Commit: Choose one of the action steps above and commit to it this week. Real change requires real action.
- Connect: We’re all learning to be more like Jesus together. Join us at Center Barnstead Christian Church where we’re committed to authentic love over religious performance.
Have questions or want to talk more about this? Reach out here or visit us this Sunday.
